Tuesday, September 11, 2012


I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge myself to you.

The traditional wedding vows.  I think Aaron and I will recite the traditional vows, because I have no idea how to express my feelings for him in words that could tell even half of the story.  I'm also intimidated by the thought of sharing such personal feelings in front of a bunch of people.

Lately, I've been thinking about life after marriage-the "honeymoon period" and the transition to everyday life.  Like every dreamer, I don't want the "honeymoon period"- the period of newlywed love, doting and romance-to end.  I don't even feel like Aaron and I have gotten started yet-we don't live together, each year I spend a few months away for school, etc.  I know some things will never be perfect in our lives-work, residency, finances-but the point of being together is to make the best of what we have and keep optimism high for future.  I'm grateful for everything we share together now, but as Aaron always says, "we're always on the up and up."

To help us keep our sights set high, I've been wondering if Aaron and I should set goals and expectations for our marriage, write and frame them somewhere in our house.  Just a little reminder, you know?  Here's a few tips for healthy marriages that I especially like

--  Always give a hug and kiss before leaving the house
--  Always eat together, but more importantly, sleep together every night
--  Reserve time each week for time alone
--  If you have to argue do it lovingly, talk calmy, learn to shut up and listen (harsh but true)
-- Go out of your way to do things that make each other happy
--  Remember that true love is rare

Another tip I found:
The seven deadly habits are criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing and bribing.
The seven caring habits include supporting, encouraging, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting and negotiating your differences.  

Now, of course, these are tips that work wonderfully in an ideal world.  In the real world, life interferes.  You may not be able to hug and kiss with every exit.  And certainly if someone never complained they may end up to be quite the pushover.  However, notice how it reads deadly habits and not sins-acceptable every once in a while but it shouldn't be the norm.

Marriage, like most of life, is probably easier said then done.  What's wrong with setting your sights high however?  :-)

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